For the past few months, I’ve felt lost and not myself. Obviously me but not the usual behaviour you’d know from me. At times, I felt alone in pain and hard on myself emotionally.
Hearing the song lyrics “It’s heaven underneath my skin but it’s hell out here” has made me think about how I feel about faith and religion. That lyric in a sense encourages me to see it from a different route other than a love story but to how Buddhism where Buddhists strive to develop peace and love within ourselves. It’s not about luxuries or wealth; in fact it is about finding happiness in ourselves. There are a lot of negative factors in the world which can cause a lot of suffering to the soul. What I am trying to say is that I don’t need money or the latest gadget to make me happy, if I can somehow erase stress/negativity then perhaps I can be content inside.
I know I personally suffer from severe anxiety problems which only a few close people know about. I do find it really hard to eliminate stress and anxiety, too hard that unfortunately I’ve seen many professionals whom have not been completely successful. It is a constant struggle to block it out and causes somewhat extra difficulties in my daily life. I purely feel it is a symptom of E.D.S as I am constantly looking out for danger where questions such as ‘can I manage to get out of where-ever safely? What about if I need a drink and I can’t do it? (I don’t have much strength and only able to use one hand) etcetera. The pain I get a lot of the time contributes to the anxiety too, I believe anyway.
So despite my personal struggles, I try to follow this belief of finding inner peace. My heart leads towards Buddhism, feel like it is relevant to me and my circumstances. The meditation side of it eases the pain I have too, even though I only do it every now and then.
As I’m getting older I want to understand of people/life and develop more wisdom. I plan on being the best person I can be as I’m sure we all do, and by helping others to find peace also.
Life today seems so hectic and manic so therefore this is my way to take time out. The time to restore calmness and tranquillity amongst the madness of daily life.
Now I’m finding some peace to get through daily life which I am glad of. You only have one life and take each day as it comes, hence why I love this lyric too : “This is the life we've been given. So open your mind and start livin’. “ I firmly believe this is true.
Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to share something that is very personal and how I feel about Buddhism with you.
are you having an identity crisis? i had one once, it lasted ages.but im glad i had it because i think it was part of my growing up. having the time i had it gave me the time i needed to discover myself,finding out what im all about and everything else.maybe your having one too? you can slap me later for been a cheeky so and so!
ReplyDeletewe definatley do not need money and god knows what else to be happy! the only people youll ever see saying money buys happiness is the rich and the spoilt! and as they say the rich get richer and the poor get poorer! if you are looking for peace and love,especially inner peace and love, perhaps you should look into Paganism.paganism isnt just about spells and the mumbo jumbo,alot of it is about self belief, confidence,will power and the like. or maybe if that doesnt float your boat you could try yoga.now i know anyone whos reading this and also knows katie,your laughing.but like paganism, yoga isnt just about the one thing! sure theres loads of yoga moves but in yoga theres breathing exericses and meditation.and actually,katie,you could probably could do some basic yoga moves as i know your double jointed pretty much all over haha. i have a yoga book you could lend.the ideas here if you ever want to try it out!
why do you look out for danger? your making yourself vulnerable to it. and i wouldnt worry about - 'can I manage to get out of where-ever safely? What about if I need a drink and I can’t do it?' because there us always someone around to help and you can still do things independantly ^_^
you are already the best person you can be! <3