Undateable?!

Looking on Facebook, at a page that I ‘Like’ has raised an issue which I hold closely to my heart. The Ehlers-Danlos Support UK has been approached by a production company that is currently in the making its second series of ‘Undateables’.

I personally have mix views on the term ‘undateable’ in reference to disabled people on the dating scene. People are trying to steer people away from labelling the disabled from such terminology not reinforcing it. If someone called me as it, I would certainly be upset as I feel it is making me look like a freak.

I am all for raising awareness for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome but just not this way; this is a negative way to do so. Why can’t there be a more positive way, there is a start with Cherylee (as you are aware from a previous blog post of mine) but it isn’t enough. One idea I have is to create a documentary of various EDS sufferers as in a diary form for a certain period of time to give people (viewers) an insight into what it is like to live with and how we all cope with it. There are many different types of EDS so it would be interesting and educational to be aware of all the different symptoms. This is only brief explanation of my idea. What do you think?

Anyway back to the focus of this blog post, it was a long time ago since I was last dating someone (daren’t say how many years, lol!) so I’m a little out of my depth in the dating scene. Back then, my EDS wasn’t affecting me as much as it is now I am older – probably the only way I can think of to describe the difference. I was not aware of how much the EDS affect the people around me. Perhaps I was just young and naive with being young and carefree.

Sometimes just doing the simplest tasks, I have to ask for help, which I know most people don’t mind helping, but it makes me wonder how that would affect my future relationships, how would a potential partner strike the balance between being the boyfriend/partner and the carer? Do people really see beyond the disability they see or know of? If I met someone, would they take me seriously or just see me as many have so far, just a friend? These are just thoughts that circle round in my head.

Like many ‘able-bodied’ people, I enjoy socialising, having fun and trying to do things like others my age do. Sharing interests and hobbies with people is something I definitely don’t have any problems with. Maybe it doesn’t help the fact that I am quite shy and anxious around meeting new people in this particular scenario.

So yeah that kind of explains my reasons for having mix feelings about the subject and that sort of brings me round to the dreaded question... because I have a disability, does that make me 'undateable'??

Just passing a bit of time, with Take That!

Hi peeps!!

 

I have spent the past 2 hours watching Take That videos on You Tube and I just want to comment the big grin on my face. :-)

 

As you are all aware, I'm a huge fan of the man band and have been for a very long time. First I started watching interviews, mostly with Jason, he just comes across as sweet, intelligent and calming in his demeanour. Obviously my opinions are based on what you see in interviews, tours and behind the scenes in various situations, but I don't think I've ever read a negative note written about him.

 

Then following in watching solo interviews, I decided to watch videos from their The Circus Live Tour which happens to be my favourite concert of all time. I don't think there is one bit to not to like. Sometimes I watch Take That's other tours and TV shows but always come back to The Circus.

 

Take That and Kim Gavin (not to mention, the brilliant Gareth Walker) are legendary in building a show together! They make it into something spectacular, something you will cherish for the rest of your lives. It's not just a show about a group singing their songs but performing in various scenarios and themes. I have always said that even if you are not a fan of Take That, you have to see their shows to just feel the passion, the show of a lifetime. It's a show in itself! As you can see in the following picture.

 

So yeah I have a very big grin on my face and I hope you do too when you see one of their shows especially The Circus Live Tour. :-)

The Penny Has Dropped!

I think the penny has dropped! After a few weeks of speculating and circling around in my mind; it has dawned on me why I have been struggling with ideas. Finding ideas as subjects to write about that is.

When I was at college, there was the interaction of the other students and the coursework which stirred the thoughts in my mind but now I am not at college anymore. Although I loved it immensely and miss it terribly, I found it extremely tiring going in every day. There was always some sort of conversation when I was at college which I thoroughly enjoyed. I could say that I was having a good student’s social life; going to college, then going out on the town for nights out, college socials, birthday parties, and even class trips out.

Now partly due to being in a lot of pain and discomfort and other reasons, I rarely have nights out, day trips out, birthday parties and socials which is normal for when you leave college. In fact, I rarely go out at all, partly I’m happy about and don’t always feel up to being out and about but also partly leaves me wondering about things. Sometimes doing what your body tells you it needs, doesn't always agree with the creative mind.

However, please note that this is not me complaining, because I can assure you I’m not. This is just an explanation of me explaining why I think I am struggling with ideas. I think it is fair to say that inspiration comes from experience and visualisation of the outside world, not from doing the usual things that are not necessarily creative. Am I making sense? I’m not sure...

As a child, I was forever writing stories (which included having my friends as characters), playing out on the street and making crafty things which in a sense were what I called fun. These were when I weren’t at school, obviously. J

Now that I am older, I hardly draw or make crafty things, socialise with as many people as I once did, it is harder to find the inspiration I need. Verging on the conscious mind, I feel I am beginning to feel frustrated with myself for not having the inspiration I so dearly crave for. Reading this, you would probably just tell me to get out more, which is the right thing to do, depending on the circumstances but as you know, this is getting more difficult for me to do so. I mean with the Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and the pain it’s causing me to be in.

Thankfully I have the love and understanding of my dear family, who I hold dear to my heart and all of my friends, those who I see regularly, those who I see from time to time and those who chat to me occasionally online. They always show an interest in whatever I write or whatever I need checking over. This is I am extrememly thankful for. :-)
I know I will find the inspiration again soon, somehow, just got to believe in that it will happen.

So yeah the penny has dropped, hasn’t it?!!

Life Without Music

Life Without Music

Like many people, I have grown up with music in my life. A question I ask myself, what would life be like if music did not exist, this is my stance on what my life would be like without music.

My life would be dull; there would be nothing to release my emotion, whatever state of mind I am in at the time. I listen to music every day, from the minute I wake up to the moment I am going to bed. In the mornings, it helps me wake up, to shake off the tense, stiff muscles and to rev me up for the day. When I am getting ready to go out on a night out, again music is played, to help fire me up, dancing away in my room. It inspires me to write poetry and trying to make sense of whatever is going on in my mind.

 

We as a nation tend to take music for granted. It is everywhere; you cannot escape a melody or a beating drum. Just think when you switch on the television, the starting credits of your favourite programme, on the adverts (see the reference between the car and the chosen song, as an example - the Chrysler Brand Relaunch UK TV Advert 2012, it is drawing upon its gritty, urban reputation and the song (Heart of the City by Jay-Z) it is often referred to focus on urban poverty and hopelessness.

 

Music is a universal language. It brings people, from different countries and diverse communities together. It is all to the emotion of the music being played. Everyone goes through happiness, fear and sadness.

 

Throughout history, music has brought us together in unison. In 1940, the French Composer, Olivier Messiaen wrote Quartet For The End of Time. At 31 years old, France entered war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans and then imprisoned in a prisoner of war camp. Fortunately enough, he was lucky to find a sympathetic guard who gave him paper and a place to compose. Already he lined up his three fellow inmates who were musicians: a violinist, a cellist, a guitarist and a clarinetist. With all the hunger, hopelessness and dreariness, it makes you wonder how he could find the time to create such a piece but it just shows through the darkest times, music brings the people together. This shows that people turn to music for comfort.

An example of how music affects from around the world, in America, an Orthopedic Surgeon. When she was a junior doctor, during a Hip operation and the surgeon in charge requested music to be played. Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of The Moon was played and it fitted so perfectly. What with all staff dressed in the spaceman outfits, I can only imagine how incredible that must have been to witness. The beating of the anaesthetic machine and all the other sounds in the operating theatre are all forms of music.

 

This brings me to talk about another reason why we take music for granted, because the universe is just made up of matter vibrating at different speeds and frequencies, which in essence is music.

 

I think as I grow older, music will continue to be a great love in my life. As long as there is music, my life will be excited, moved and inspired. Whatever life throws at the world, music will continue to unite the world in many different ways.