Fishy Time

Little did I know or plan on having my feet soaked in a warm tank full of fish?!! Yes, you got that right. Today was all about shopping and seeing what bargains I could buy not having a little fishy time!

To you and me, it’s called The Fish Tank Pedicure but it’s professional name is Ichthyotherapy. It has a long history with sufferers from Dertomology conditions/issues that are mostly used in India, Greece, Turkey, the Middle East and China.

The fish (Garra Rufa) are bred in warm water and are kept in tanks. They are scarcily fed by taking meals from the skin of people. Luckily for us, they don’t have any teeth and they suck gently. They eat the dead skin and leave it all clean and soft. In Turkey, they use the fish as a natural spa remedy and as a treatment to relieve the symptoms of skin conditions like Psoriasis and Eczema etc.

I found it a bit woo at first as they all swarmed round my first foot that I put in the tank and loved it straight away. I’d say there was probably around thirty to fourty fish in each tank. I was expecting it to pinch slightly or I just wouldn’t like it but thought it was really relaxing. I found myself giggling and laughing as it tickled me a lot! My support worker didn’t like it at first, it took her about ten minutes to get used to it and start enjoying it which was a shame as you only get fifteen minutes. Although the lass forgot to put the timer on so we had that extra bit longer which I was definatelty not complaining about!!

It was a shame we didn’t have a back rest so you could relax even more but oh well. My feet are all lovely and soft now as I get quite bad dry flaky skin. It has also eased my muscles in my feet too, like the circulation seems have to eased as well. I have Perniosis (a circulation problem in my feet where the blood spasms underneath the surface.

Would I recommend you going to try it? Yes, I would without a doubt! Take a bit time out for you to relax and let those hungry little fishies do their magic. I will definately be having another go!

Weekend Of Madness

First of all, I will tell you about Friday.

I went to Kendal with my mum, sister and the other bridesmaid for our bridesmaid dress fitting. Wow the dresses look amazing!! Royal Family eat your heart out, my sister with her wedding dress and us two, we shall be the Belles of the ball!! It was so exciting to see our dresses properly for the first time. I really can't wait to see us three all dolled up on the big day, going to be princesses. Unfortunately I had to walk quite a bit and I've suffered ever since. The thing is, it didn't just tire me out but really hurt my loose joints. I can feel the wear and tear on them and can feel them loosening out of my sockets so in my head I was hoping that they wouldn't pop out. I didn't let on how much agony I was in at the time because I didn't want to spoil the day for everyone else. Anyone else with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome would understand more.

On the Saturday, Gothgirl and her cute neice came down to mine whilst we waited for our other friend whom I still haven't thought of a name for as I want to keep my friends and family anonymous on here. Gothgirl's niece was making me laugh with some of the apps (application programs) on her iPod. I was amazed at her school renting out these gadgets as they weren't invented when I was at school which was ten years ago this coming summer. I think it's to give the more disadvantaged kiddies have a chance to have something modern and technical as their families may not be able to afford such things at home. The four of us went to the zoo which was fun! I love going there. Hand fed a black swan, one bit Gothgirl's niece finger, bless. She was fine though luckily. I got to see the Tortoises which I love, some might find them boring but they look so peaceful. Plus they go slow like me! The zoo had made a few changes, like for example, on the Jaguars/Tigers den, there was clear window thingy instead of the railings so you could see them better. It was the same with the Lions too.

We dropped the niece off on our way to our local Italian restaurant for tea. This is one of my favourite places to eat. Great food, great service and great atmosphere. I managed to eat a three course meal although as per usual, couldn't eat it all. We had a giggle and the rest of it.

Straight after eating, we went back to mine to get ready to meet our other friends back in the same Italian place. I wore my new Black and Grey jumpsuit, it's a Hareem style. Everyone loved it! I did too! It was funny seeing Gothgirl not wearing a dress. It was a good night apart from being in a lot of pain from the day before. I just wanted cuddles, I always do when in pain for some reason. We didn't get back to mine til just before five AM.

On the Sunday, I went to town with my parents to change a few things and had a McDonald's for dinner, I'm just not that into Maccys if I'm honest. Then chilled for the remainder of the day which was what I needed. I just slept through a lot of it as I was tired and still sore.

Monday was Valentines Day. Usually I'm not bothered about it with being single still but Gothgirl made it special for me. She bought me a jelly sweet ring and she had one too. I was spoilt. Lovely pairs of earrings, one set were the Eiffel Tower with ribbon bow ties on. So funky! She made me a 'K' out of Galaxy Cookie Crumble, so sweet and thoughtful. I adored this! We went back to that Italian restaurant again for a meal. Again ate a three course meal. Towards the end, I started getting a sore throat and feeling cold/shivery. Poor Gothgirl, I wasn't much entertainment at the end. Once she had gone home, I was still shivering and started getting a little headache. I had an early night to try and get warm also to sleep it off whatever it was I thought I was coming down with. I got comfy in bed and then all of a sudden, I just puked. It was weird as I didn't feel sick in the slightest. My poor mum had to help wipe it up off my cover. The last time I puked was when I was onboard the tall ship back in 2001 and that was sea sickness. At least I wasn't sickF in front of Gothgirl.

Yeah so that was my weekend. Full of fun, laughter, and tasty food which is right up my street!!

More Than Another Brick In The Wall

One song many of you are familiar with and that's Another Brick In The Wall. It's a shame that only one song that most people have heard of Pink Floyd, as a fan, I appreciate their other songs just as much. Yes, I may be young and female but I love them just as much as someone who was around when they were around in the 60s and 70s.

As a young girl, I always remember seeing the video to Another Brick In The Wall but I never understood it. I was into pop music yet I was intrigued. I found it a bit scary for some unknown reason but who’d have guessed I would grow to love them later on in my life?!!

The thing I was saying about how A.B.I.T.W is the most known Floyd song, they’ve had 16 top ten UK albums during their time together as a band. So maybe people have forgotten how good they are??

I have a few favourite songs, obviously A.B.I.T.W, Comfortably Numb, Echoes, Set The Controls For The Heart of The Sun, Time, and Waiting For The Worms. Ok that is a lot but there are so many that I love... what are your favourites?

One thing that I love Floyd for is that they don’t have the conventional love/sex story like in most songs. They portray depressing times with honesty, blunt and provoke your emotions. To me, The Wall album is telling you about how in life can make you feel disillusioned and just want to segregate yourself isolated. At times we all want to block out the bad things in life. It’s such an artistic record. You can really place yourself in the lyrics, especially with The Wall, living with the effects of WW2, such as fear, phobia, and disillusion.

Floyd wrote their own music, from their own experiences and views in the world. Some may find the lyrics slightly uncomfortable but they are unique. The guitaring is on another level, the way for example, Barrett when he made the guitar echo during his time with Floyd. Magical is one word to describe the music in my opinion.

I went to see a tribute show a few months back and loved every second. For the duration of 2hrs, I felt lost and mesmerised within the music. It’s calming yet somehow gets your heart ticking faster. The lighting of the show kind of hypnotised me which made me feel lost.

  Well that’s how I feel about Pink Floyd, don’t be a brick and let me know what you think of them. I’m sure there’s so much more to be said in favour of the legendry band!

Saturday Night Divas!!

On Saturday, it was planned for me to join in the madness amongst my friends to go out into town at the night time. Through the day, I just went to Asda with my folks. I got really anxious and panicking because I didn't know what was happening exactly. My friends were telling me different things and I got all confused!!

I already had my outfit planned:- my new navy blue victorian style dress. My black leather boots and my little black handbag with the flower and clear bead things on it.

My two friends Glamgirl and Poshspice came to mine and headed to our other friend's house where she and her sister (Citygirl) were waiting for us. It's great to see friends who you don't get to see that much because of them living away. Although we didn't really get to catch up properly as everyone had consumed numerous amounts of alcohol so were too busy laughing! Hopefully will get to see her properly with her little baby this week.

I started in Yates's with Citygirl and her lot at around half ten-ish. As soon as the place started filling up around midnight, the night livened up. I had a good boogie with everyone then they all wanted to go to Kavannas where me and Poshspice dislike. I don't like it because I feel intimidated with sitting down in my wheelchair and everyone standing up around me. It's worse with everyone drinking aswel. I get scared that someone will knock into me plus the music isn't to my taste either. So us two stayed in Yates's and carried on dancing!

Half an hour later, Gothgirl and my other friends came in. Spicegirl noticed Gothgirl so I sneaked past all these guys (they must have wondered what I was doing?!) and ran up to Gothgirl with my arms out! Haha!

Poor Gothgirl didn't do much dancing as her feet were being tortured by her shoes so got to chat to her. We discovered that we bought three eyeshadows the same colour... what a dozy pair!! I often have brain fog!! Anyhow, she and some of the others went home just before Yates's closed so it was just me, Poshspice and my other friend whom I can't think of a name for. Glamgirl suddenly appeared (she went with Citygirl) together we headed for my favourite club.

It's nice in Club M, with its comfy sofas where I just sink and slide ha ha! Prefer it here because 1:- hardly ever have trouble (fighting etc) and 2:- I can sit next to who I'm with and chat to them without being squished.

The time was quite late and I was still dancing the night away, even though my leg kept going funny. I was having a good night! Glamgirl was getting rather tipsy by now and bless her, made me chuckle. In fact something happened which caused me to be in hysterics! I felt sorry for him and felt bad for laughing though it totally threw him!! I won't say on here what happened because I don't want to embarrass him. I'm still laughing now about it. Ssh!

Glamgirl and Poshspice were ready for home but me and nameless friend were still raring to go so us two tried to carry on. Them two went home. Yay last man standing is what they say isn't it?!! The last club looked like it was shut so we just went past. Wandered about a bit decided whether we were going to get food but headed back to mine. It was nice walking home in the early hours of the morning and knowing I didn't have to keep anyone up at home. Anyway we got back to mine about half five and he went home. 

I was still quite wide awake and felt rather giddy but thought it was best to go to bed.

It's now Monday and I'm still suffering. Not from a hangover... no but from over doing it. My legs have been really sore, been struggling to walk properly. My legs bothered me through the night in bed and I couldn't get out of bed 'til half one this afternoon. Still smiling though!

Ps... my dentist is really chuffed with how my teeth are doing and they've moved so much in three months!! We thought we were going to have to cancel as we'd forgotten to take pillows so I can sit on the chair thingy but thankfully we managed with rolled-up coats and scarves. Have to go back in a month so hoping I might get them took off by then. Yay!!

Child Prodigy

It was just the other day when I came across a documentary by Keith Allen filming James Harries who is now known as Lauren Harries. Does the name ring a bell to you?

He was the 80s/90s child prodigy who claimed to know about Antiques. He had thick, curly blonde hair and always wore a dicky bow tie. I'll post a picture of him as a young boy, I'm sure you'll remember him when you see him.

Back to the documentary. James is now Lauren after a sex reassignment operation. I actually think she still seems confused and delirious. In fact the whole family are living in a world of fantasy, delirious, disfunctional and delusion.

All the way through I kept an open mind, in a way, I kind of felt sorry for them. All those years ago, Mark and Kate must have been really desperate to push their youngest son into the limelight forging a claim that he could do antiquing at such a tender age.

I thought it was good that Lauren had counselling during the treatment but when it revealed that her own mother was the counsellor under a different name was morally wrong! Going through something so challenging and difficult like this is hard enough without having someone claiming to be qualified being so involved. Someone having this type of treatment requires proper qualified counselling as it is life changing and is a huge process to go through.

I personally don't have a problem with people having gender reassignment surgery/treatment, we can't help how we feel or think about ourselves. I have seen/heard people hurling abuse at people in this situation (not sure if it is right to say situation or not) and it is slightly upsetting. How would they feel if it was the other way round, there isn't anything wrong with becoming the opposite sex. I take each person as they are, not what they are.

In any situation, I always try to see it from all sides by placing myself in other people's shoes as such. I tried to do that with watching this documentary. That is why I kind of felt sorry for the Harries family as they've endured stones thrown at their windows, they've been physically attacked and on the film, it even shows passer-bys hurling abuse from in their cars. No one deserves that no matter what they have done or doing!

After watching it, I felt a bit disturbed a little, possibly more uncomfortable than disturbed. It opens your eyes at how people live, and how things can affect us all in different ways. In a way, I'm not surprised that Keith Allen told them truths and went off on one at the end, I honestly don't think I could have pretended to act as if their behaviour was normal or what we perceive as normal as long as he did.

If and when you watch the documentary, try to keep an open mind. Although you may not have an open mind at the end of it.

Finding Faith

For the past few months, I’ve felt lost and not myself. Obviously me but not the usual behaviour you’d know from me. At times, I felt alone in pain and hard on myself emotionally.

Hearing the song lyrics “It’s heaven underneath my skin but it’s hell out here” has made me think about how I feel about faith and religion. That lyric in a sense encourages me to see it from a different route other than a love story but to how Buddhism where Buddhists strive to develop peace and love within ourselves. It’s not about luxuries or wealth; in fact it is about finding happiness in ourselves. There are a lot of negative factors in the world which can cause a lot of suffering to the soul. What I am trying to say is that I don’t need money or the latest gadget to make me happy, if I can somehow erase stress/negativity then perhaps I can be content inside.

I know I personally suffer from severe anxiety problems which only a few close people know about. I do find it really hard to eliminate stress and anxiety, too hard that unfortunately I’ve seen many professionals whom have not been completely successful. It is a constant struggle to block it out and causes somewhat extra difficulties in my daily life. I purely feel it is a symptom of E.D.S as I am constantly looking out for danger where questions such as ‘can I manage to get out of where-ever safely? What about if I need a drink and I can’t do it? (I don’t have much strength and only able to use one hand) etcetera. The pain I get a lot of the time contributes to the anxiety too, I believe anyway.

So despite my personal struggles, I try to follow this belief of finding inner peace. My heart leads towards Buddhism, feel like it is relevant to me and my circumstances. The meditation side of it eases the pain I have too, even though I only do it every now and then.

As I’m getting older I want to understand of people/life and develop more wisdom. I plan on being the best person I can be as I’m sure we all do, and by helping others to find peace also.

Life today seems so hectic and manic so therefore this is my way to take time out. The time to restore calmness and tranquillity amongst the madness of daily life.

Now I’m finding some peace to get through daily life which I am glad of. You only have one life and take each day as it comes, hence why I love this lyric too : “This is the life we've been given. So open your mind and start livin’. “ I firmly believe this is true.

 Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to share something that is very personal and how I feel about Buddhism with you.

Play Hard Then Suffer Hard!

Wow what a weekend!

Last week it was one of my best friend's birthdays' (who I'll name as Gothygirl) so me and other friends have been celebrating it this weekend.

Friday night we went to the twins' house for a few drinks and a little gathering. It was a good night, lots of laughing and chatting. I felt giddy although I don't drink! My friend had a little 'Hello Kitty' cake and it was really cute, even had those sparklers which took a bit to light ha ha!!

Then yesterday (Saturday) I just relaxed around the house in my pyjamas watching the television. I wanted to saviour my energy for the night time plans.

Gothygirl came to my house to pick me up but unfortunately I ended up running late which I hate. She looked fab in her baby pink dress! We met some friends at the train station and headed for our destination which was just an hour away. Our other friends met us along the way whom one of them was another of my best friends' (Glamgirl). Well we had our game of superbowl and had a few drinkies there. I unfortunately came last on the bowling if I remember rightly (pulls a sad face) but at least I had fun!

After the game, we came back home. The four of us that were left went into town to the pubs and clubs. There's not that many here where I live as it's just a small town. We still had a great time though, ended up in town til just after 3am!

I love nothing than to spend quality time with my loved ones. They really look after me and show me how to have a good time. So with good company and feeling lovely in my new dress (it's black with little white flower lining around the neckline and at the front with some white buttons in the middle) reassures me to enjoy myself more!

Today though, I've really suffered. I just felt like all the energy had been drained from my body and I ached. Think I've overdone it a little but it's the price I have to pay if I want to enjoy myself. Living with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has taught me to pace myself and to listen to my body. By listening to my body, I mean when it starts to have pain etc, to sit and rest.

Another day I will tell you more about E.D.S just so you can understand yourself and not think I'm just being weak or complaining for no reason.